Truth in Trauma


I’m not on social media much anymore because I’m too damn busy but it’s time for an important public service announcement:

If you are ignoring news about the latest child molestation, statutory rape and sexual harassment cases, if you are neglecting to reach out to known sexual trauma survivors (nearly all of whom are triggered into some degree of PTSD at this time) YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM. Get over your personal discomfort and protective avoidance strategies and offer support. I am especially speaking to men, but if one more person of any gender says, “but [abuser x] was always good to me,” I predict spiritual incineration.

With necessary bluntness, I am saying to all those who are silently complicit: Deal with the fact that your colleagues, relatives, friends, locker room buddies are violating women, children, trans folks, ad nauseum. Speak up and defend us. Stop ostracizing victims. Survivors are the wisest and most compassionate people on earth. Treat us like the treasures that we are. Y’all don’t know it yet, but you need us way more than you need cash in the bank. Become a real ally before you get left out in the cold.

I, and every bruja/medicine woman/witch/wise woman I know (and I know a lot) are exercising iron clad discipline to not blow shit up but widespread feigned ignorance is furthering the hurt and is seriously pissing me off. Don’t push me or other survivors any more, folks. We are at the end of endurance but we will not break. Abusers made sure that we’d all be made of vibranium. Rather than self-destructing (which is what many of you are waiting for so we all stop talking about nasty business), we are capable of transforming the world. We know how to live through the crucible. Do you? Work with survivors now before it’s too late for you and yours. Change will not look like how you think it “should,” but it’s definitely coming.

If you follow astrology in any way, this is an ideal window to shed light on ugly truths so that we can all move towards healing. If you pray, yesterday was Guru Purnima, the first full moon of summer and we are in a powerful Mercury retrograde. My spiritual sisters are deep in annual ceremony around exactly these and related issues. Now is the time to address old hurts in positive ways. Whatever doesn’t get handled consciously now will fester and erupt in ever more ugly episodes.

If you’re not capable of being in active support during this overdue healing process, stop cluttering my social media feeds. I’m busy fielding calls from women in trauma (4 so far this week), watching friends and clients relapse into addictions, despairing about how much pornographic objectification has infiltrated what used to pass for the development of healthy human sexuality (like in the case of the molester math teacher caught at my son’s middle school and how that ricocheted through 12 year old consciousness) and what should be loving adult intimacy (but often isn’t).

I’m doing this all while parenting (pretty awesomely, I must say), working (also awesomely) and providing extensive support to multiple fellow trauma survivors but I could really use some authentic loving strength from people with heart. Please get off the fence and go make a difference.

End of rant. Peace out.

(previously published on Facebook 7/17/19)

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